Coming Full Circle: Honoring the Rhythms of Relationships

Published in 1996 by Third Side Press

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Signed copies of Coming Full Circle are available from the author.  Click the PayPal button to purchase for $15.00 (includes tax and shipping).

Coming Full Circle Cover
Coming Full Circle

About the book…

Relationships can be life-giving. Coming Full Circle offers an innovative approach to creating and sustaining that intention. Metaphorically, the moon, its cycles and phases, enlightens us and shows the way to creating fulfilling, healthy and respectful relationships.

The lunar cycle has to do with the relationship of the moon with the sun as seen from Earth. What the lunar cycle measures is not the changes in the moon itself, but changes in the solar/lunar relationship.

CFC identifies four life cycles in an ongoing relationship. Concurrently, within each life cycle we energetically and relationally wax into connection, grow into a creative fullness, and wane into introspection and evaluation. Using the symbol of the moon gives us a context which, when recognized, allows for a deeper understanding of the inevitable rhythm of coming together and moving apart…affirming both the intimacy and individuation that deepens the relationship.

This is not a linear experience, nor is there a defined frequency of the passage through the cycles. Within each life cycle, we will cycle through the phases monthly or yearly; the movement is organic, and will occur throughout the lifetime of the relationship.

The new moon phase (think “dark of the moon”) is a time of considering, birthing or renewing of the cycle. The waxing moon phase is the time for connecting/ reconnecting. The energy is increasing into the full moon phase when we celebrate abundance, enjoy what is being accomplished. But when a conflict/argument erupts, this may be the indication that one, or both, is moving into a waning phase. This is an opportunity for introspection, a time when we may separate (emotionally and/or physically) in order to evaluate our needs, our growth, to examine the inevitable differences between the two of us. The challenge here is to stay connected with a dotted line. Having been especially introspective, a feeling of romance or desire for intimacy would no doubt follow suggesting a readiness to move into the waxing phase. A special date, a celebration (no particular reason required), a creative project,  would suggest being in the full moon phase.

When we are aware and accepting of those cycles, we experience growth and health in our relationships and are able to honor the waxing and waning rhythms without fear but with an open heart. So, Coming Full Circle guides us to recognizing our cycles and flowing with them rather than misunderstanding or struggling against them. We honor those rhythms.

Download a printable information sheet about Coming Full Circle.

Read an excerpt…

The dynamic of each cycle in the relationship begins at New Moon with a connection (or, in ensuing cycles, with a reconnection.) Flowing into the waxing moon phase is a time of closeness, of sharing, a veritable high. In the first cycle, the two lovers are focused on one another; the energy between them is exhilarating and intense. This is the time of romance and intentionality in the relationship. Often people report feeling extremely excited and vulnerable and sexual and creative and tireless. This is the time of hope, of ecstasy, of intense erotic feelings. In the cycles that follow, the waxing phase will certainly be less intense, yet energy nonetheless increases into the fullness of each cycle.

While we can certainly have sex without love and love without sex, the waxing time is the time when romantic passion (especially in the New Moon Cycle of a relationship) is often at its peak. The waxing phase is the time of “organic and instinctual growth.” Energies soar! Sensuality reigns! Life becomes poetry in action!

Read more in this printable Coming Full Circle excerpt.

What people are saying…

Years of perceptive insight and intuitive empathy as a therapist have provided Nancy VanArsdall with a deep understanding of the cycles of relationships. Now we can all receive the gifts of her wisdom on the pages of Coming Full Circle.

— Merlin Stone, author of When God Was a Woman

There are a lot of books about relationships but Coming Full Circle is unique in describing them in terms of the cycles of the moon.  The ebb and flow of human emotions takes on a new perspective in the context of natural sacred cycles and spirals.

— Sid Reger, Ed.D.

Coming Full Circle is a book that requires serious reading—every page is rich in erudition and wisdom. It cannot be approached as if it were a novel. Men especially will be slower to fathom its meanings. At the very least, its structure and style, often lyrical, are impressive. Nancy makes a convincing case for ecofeminism—giving it a significant place in the sun…or should I say moon.

— Denton May, Ph.D., academic Dean and Professor of English, Professor Emeritus, St. Thomas Aquinas College, New York.

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